This is going to be a tough post to write.\u00a0 Yesterday was Resurrection Sunday, and what I took away from it was disappointment.\u00a0 Instead of joyously celebrating the most important event in the history of time (and non-time, for that matter), I performed, and poorly, at that.\u00a0 I put pressure on myself to perform in several ways and didn\u2019t deliver the results that I expected.\u00a0 Thankfully, God doesn\u2019t care about my performance but cares about my heart and gave me a good gut-check this Sunday.<\/p>\n
However, there are several things I learned yesterday and wanted to pass them along:<\/p>\n
1. Ask for help<\/strong>. \u00a0I did the sunrise service by myself.\u00a0 It was fine, but I wish I would have asked for other input to make it better.<\/p>\n 2. Organize your music<\/strong>. \u00a0Because I had a song on my stand with copies in two different keys I ended up with the wrong music.\u00a0 I was able to play it correctly after a pretty nasty train wreck intro that was completely my fault, but this situation could have been easily fixed.<\/p>\n 3. Trust your memorization skills<\/strong>. After the service was complete we did the train-wrecked song again.\u00a0 While playing this time, I played it perfectly and barely had to look at my music.<\/p>\n 4. Stop performing<\/strong>.\u00a0 I just realized as I was writing this that every time we play a song for the service as a postlude or sending song while people are heading out of the sanctuary I am completely more relaxed, play without my music, and enjoy the song much more.\u00a0 This proves to me without a doubt that I am struggling with the \u201cperformance\u201d aspect of worship and music ministry and need to give this a swift death.\u00a0 If I\u2019m feeling tense and pressured only during the time when the congregation is singing with us and relaxed when they\u2019re not paying attention that\u2019s bad news and tells me that I\u2019m letting the approval of man dictate how I lead worship.<\/p>\n 5. Spend more time on your weak areas<\/strong>.\u00a0 I let some things fall through the cracks logistically because I am definitely not a detail person.\u00a0 My worship coach this weekend confirmed that as well with some exercises we did and reminded me that I need to work on my weaknesses constantly because they don\u2019t come naturally to me.<\/p>\n Question: are you \u201cperforming\u201d in your worship ministry in the way that you\u2019re hoping more for your own approval and the approval of others instead of joyously worshiping our awesome God?<\/strong><\/p>\n I\u2019m realizing that it\u2019s a struggle for me and perhaps you can relate and would be willing to pray for me.<\/p>\n